by Alex Prestia
This is a tough one. Super Mario Party at its core is a fickle, luck based, bullshit fest of a game. It’s also borderline reprehensible to want to power game your way through it just to win.
I mean seriously, Jerald. You think its necessary to break this out at the one dinner party we could schedule this month? The first chance our girlfriends have had to meet each other.
Really, Jerald? Don’t pretend I didn’t see that twinkle in your eye, that “Daddy needs this” desperation.
You picked the one game that feels designed to tear friendships apart.
Look, I know it’s been a tough week at work or whatever, but seriously? You know neither of our GF’s are “gamers”. Now we’re finally getting them to try video games and you just want to dunk on them. Like Lebron James playing against a JV team.
Damnit, Jerald. Fine. I’ll tell you how to beat your friends at what essentially amounts to Shoots and Ladders.
Asshole.
Alright lets get this out of the way first- we’re playing Super Mario Party on the Switch here.
I mean, sure, generally the same strategies are applicable to all of the games in the series, but specifically, you brought your damn Switch to this gastropub. Now we can all suffer in public.
In Super Mario Party for the Switch there are a few strategies and tricks that can win you the game.
The Custom Dice Blocks, Allies, Items, and the Maps themselves can be exploited, I mean played optimally, to ensure that you win this friendly party game.
But let’s be real here- you’ll still lose half of the time. Even if you play optimally, you will still lose this game as often as you win.
So don’t blame me, Jerald, when you go full try-hard mode on us and still come up a fool.
Picking a Character/ Custom Dice:
Alright, so this is Rachel’s first time playing. Is it Christina’s too? Yeah? Perfect. So they have no idea about the different characters’ Custom Dice Blocks, right?
Ok, so every character in Super Mario Party has a Custom Dice Block that they can use instead of their regular 6-sided dice block.
For example, Mario’s Custom Dice Block has a 1,3,3,3,5, and 6 on it. Each turn he can choose between his normal 1-6 dice block or his Custom Dice Block with the 50% chance of getting a 3.
Mario’s dice block is pretty balanced, which sounds good, but in reality it doesn’t do enough to separate it from the regular dice block. So as far characters go, there’s better value to be had.
Now here’s Donkey Kong’s Custom Dice Block: +5 Coins,0,0,0,10, and 10. Yeah. There’s a 66% percent chance that you won’t move at all when you roll this one. 33% of the time you get to go forward ten spaces. It’s a gamble.
If you really do the math, it comes down to about the same in the end. Mario’s averaging a 3.5 roll on his Custom Dice Block. DK averages 3.3. Bowser actually has the highest average roll from his Custom Dice Block at 4.6.
Some other Custom Dice Blocks are based around stability. Shy Guy’s Custom Dice Block has 0,4,4,4,4, and 4. The benefit here is that Shy Guy players have a lot of control over where they land.
So there are really two directions you can go when picking a Custom Dice Block/ Character-
1.You go for a character with high average rolls
2. You go for a character with very stable rolls for specific situations
The optimal solution comes down to which board you’re playing (don’t worry, the board section is coming up) and personal preference.
Or, Jerald, you could pick a character you like and personally vibe with.
Maybe not worry so much about the “dice block meta-game” as you keep calling it. I’m pretty sure Christina gags a little bit every time you say that phrase, but whatever let’s keep going.
Items:
Listen, this is really the number one thing to exploit if you absolutely need to win this game. Farm Golden Pipes. They put you 1 spot away from wherever the star is. They only cost 10 coins.
The shops are not randomized, so you can always count on Golden Pipes being available on most of the game’s boards.
Seriously, when designing this game this must have been an oversight.
Not only do Stars cost less in Super Mario Party than ever before (the low, low price of 10 coins compared to the 20 standard throughout the series), these Golden Pipes only cost 10 as well.
Win two minigames, just two, and you’ve already saved up enough to warp halfway across the board and purchase a Star.
Of course, Jerald, Christina had no idea what a Golden Pipe did. So when she spent 3 turns painstakingly crossing the map to buy her first Star, it was gnarly of you to yoink it out from under her with a Golden Pipe.
Yay, now you’re winning even more. You have three stars, Rachel and I have 1 each, and Christina has 0. The vibe in here is getting very weird. Rachel is now refusing to hold my hand.
Allies:
Ally characters are a new feature to the franchise. Other than item shops and the Stars themselves, these are the best spots on the board.
An ally character rolls a dice block with the numbers 1 and 2 and adds the number to your roll every turn. For the rest of the game. Every turn. You get an average of 1.5 spaces added to your roll. Every turn.
That’s clearly pretty good, right?
Well on top of that, you also get access to that Character’s Custom Dice Block.
So if you get Daisy as an ally, you can now choose between a regular dice block, your character’s custom dice block, or Daisy’s custom dice block (3, 3, 3, 3, 4, and 4) every turn.
Plus you add 1 or 2 on top of that.
Also you can get more than one ally. Every time you land on an ally space one will be added at random.
Plus they help out in some mini games as friendly AI’s.
In short, make landing on these a priority.
It’s turn 7 of 10 now. Jerald you have 4 stars, 3 allies, and a Golden Pipe in your pocket (no, that’s not a dick joke Jerald).
Maybe lay off a little, huh? I mean at least Christina has an ally now but she still doesn’t have a Star.
And I’m gonna be honest, I’m pretty sure Rachel’s bored. We could switch to just playing mini games. That rhythm based mini game mode is pretty good. Nah? We should finish what we started? Sweet.
The Boards:
Megafruit Paradise- The beach one. Jerald, you’ve stayed on the bottom left island the whole time. Each turn you just do a circle around the island and buy a Golden Pipe from the shop. Then you use the pipe, teleport to the Star, rinse and repeat. This is why we can’t have nice things.
Kamek’s Tantalizing Tower- The golden one. The Star is always in the same spot and the path to it is very obvious. Having a character with very stable dice blocks will give you can advantage towards the end of the game, when the timing of finishing a lap becomes important.
King Bob-ombs Powder Keg Mine- The cave one. I know, Jerald. You would have just stayed near the center until a star appears then moved towards it from there. All the while keeping in mind that the item shop can be used to get Golden Pipes and reach hard to get to stars. It’s all about maximum flexibility, or whatever.
Whomp’s Domino Ruins- The Indiana Jones one. The layout is long and mostly linear. There aren’t as many gimmicks on this one, so pick a character that can consistently hit high numbers. High rolls are key.
The pro gamer strat on Whomp’s Ruins is to pick Wario and use his Custom Dice Block (-2 coins, -2 coins, 6, 6, 6, 6) to roll a 6 on the first round.
I did the math, ok that’s a lie- some dweeb on Reddit did the math, and it turns out that 88% of the time you’ll end up on an Ally Space within the first two turns of the game with this strat.
So of course every board in Super Mario Party can be power gamed. The questions is: should they be power gamed? And no, Jerald, they really shouldn’t be.
Especially when it seems like Christina is near tears. And Rachel hasn’t made eye contact with me since turn 5. At least now we’re in the final stretch.
Mini games:
Obviously I’m not going to list every single mini game and explain them one-by-one, Jerald. They’re all pretty self-explanatory. The biggest take away is that practice makes perfect.
In Super Mario Party you can actually play a practice round while reading the rules. It’s pretty neat.
So I guess if I really wanted to be a dick, while someone else explains the rules of the game to a less gaming-literate friend, I would furiously practice before the game starts.
Heaven forbid I help someone else out for once, or try and make sure that our GF’s are having a good time.
The most control you can gain over this game is by consistently winning mini games. They translate directly into coins and even if your dice rolls are garbage, you can always spend coins on items.
Luckily, of all the things wrong with this game, the minigames are really, really good. Like, ingenious at times. On top of that, the least videogame-experienced person in the world can pick up some of these games and just intrinsically kick ass.
These are, and will always be, the saving grace of the series.
Bonus Stars/ End of the Game:
So, turn 10. Game just ended. Somehow, Rachel ended up winning because of the Bonus Stars. There are two random ones at the end of every game and she won both. Nothing you can do about that. Huh, Jerald?
Super chill of you to throw a tantrum, though. Throwing your Joycon at the wall was a masterful touch. I loved walking over to a nearby table and pleading with a peeved family of 4 to get it back.
Perfect capstone to place on the night. And I’m pretty sure I just saw Christina ran into the bathroom crying.
So, a few stiff drinks later, and your GF is still crying in the bathroom, mine left about an hour ago.
Oh wait, she just texted me and wants to end things. Sweet. And now I’m stuck here with you, Jerald. Just you and I, running it back on Whomp’s Domino Ruins.
Aren’t you glad you learned how to beat your friends at Super Mario Party?
-Check out Alex's other fantastic Switch guides for Mario Kart and Super Smash Bros. Ultimate
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