As I sit writing this I have to admit I’m wearing a slightly smug grin across my face and have a somewhat elevated sense of superiority.
After 60 intense and anxiety fueled hours I have finally completed my first “Soulsborne” game.
I’m a fresh member of that elitist pack of nerds that look down on others and mutter the words “git gud” at every opportunity.
I will do my best to fit in with this new crowd, taking the secrets to my grave of how I may have cheesed some bosses, or abused creature AI to accomplish my goal. The end always justifies the means.
I’ve a had a tenuous relationship with From Software over the years, initially intrigued by the design and challenge aspect and then by rave reviews for later releases.
I have bought every release only to find my abilities fall very short of the challenge offered. Without exception I have given up on each and every title in frustration within a couple of hours. I’m ashamed to admit that Sekiro even resulted in a decimated Xbox controller, this fit of rage was even more confounding given that I was playing it on PS4 at the time.
So I heaved a hefty sigh as I took delivery of my PS5 and released a new iteration of my old nemesis was one of the only PS5 exclusives available to me.
The next gen tabula rasa, free of backlog, coupled with slim initial pickings and a hefty $70 price tag forced me into a Zen like state of patience and concentration.
Demon’s Souls is a beautiful offering from the very get go, oozing atmosphere and dark fantasy. Incredible character models, textures and lighting paint a grim yet intriguing world.
But there was little time to enjoy the aesthetics before the overwhelming sense of doom and anxiety gripped me… and this was only the prologue, a brief introduction to the game's controls and mechanics.
It wasn't long before my frantic ARPG style button mashing ends in my inevitable demise, but wait…. This is weird? ….nothing, no red mist of rage, no clenching and twisting of the "expensive to replace" PS5 controller, no spitting of expletives through clenched teeth… there is only calm, a gentle and serene acceptance that the game will not be bent to my will.
"As the spirit becomes like water and adapts to its container, so you must adapt to your opponent. Don't be tense." - Miyamoto Musashi.
He was right you know, it’s almost as though he glimpsed the future and expressly created that quote to apply to Soulsborne games.
Eventually everything finally clicked and Demon’s Souls transcended from game and became more a series of elaborate metaphors and lessons taken from and for life.
That sounds overly dramatic but I shit you not! Playing Demon’s Souls will be one of, if not the most memorable chapter in my gaming life.
My first next gen gaming experience, combined with my first Soulsborne completion all in one, it will be a hard moment to top.
I had finally discovered the rhythm of these games and their demand on concentration. They are inherently thirsty creatures.
You can’t just start playing, you need to warm up first, find your stride.
Likewise you need to know when to walk away, to stop slamming your face repeatedly into a wall. With fatigue or frustration comes error and nothing punishes mistakes with the intensity and severity of these games.
I’m not going to lie, there were times when I did start to feel the beast of anger awaken inside me, but it never got the better of me ..... not this time.
I could very well be riding the bravado of my first completion. But I went on to buy the DarkSouls games again, but this time on PlayStation.
Somehow trying to recreate exactly the same sense of adventure, discovery, anxiety and accomplishment that Demon’s Souls gave me; on the very same system that facilitated my initial victory. Essentially chasing the Soulsborne dragon.
At this point I feel ready to take on my next challenge, confident that, while it will not be easy, I will overcome adversity and feel like a champ once more.
In all likelihood, I am overconfident, will get my shit royally pushed in and feel like a chump.
But hopefully this will not deter me from finally experiencing and enjoying this genre in the way so many others vehemently and repeatedly advocate.
As a footnote I must give props and thanks to Geir for brow-beating me about how “Soulsborne games are the best thing ever” for almost a decade and how I am not a real gamer until I “do” one. Also the incredibly well made guides from FightinCowboy, his content really has had so much effort, planning and heart gone into it and his calm methodical approach to these games almost trivializes the content. Seriously, this guy is THAT good, just watching his videos is therapeutic.
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